Sometimes , when you see me smile , it doesn't mean that inside me , i'm also smiling . Sometimes , what you say can hurt me deeply but I just kept quiet . I did some things with a reason behind , so please don't ask me why . I really don't want to end everything , but I hope you understand . I really have a reason that's why I didn't do what you want me to do . Anyway, today wasn't a good day . I'm stressed with studies . Stuck in the middle . I really don't want to voice everything out now . I got a feeling it isn't the right time now . I hope you can give me more time . I really hope so . I promise , I'll voice everything out someday . Today , studied at Mac after school until evening . Yeah , was pissed with myself . I'm very disappointed with myself . Everything is coming up now . Haiz , but it's only the beginning of the year,it's only 18thfebruary today . How can I survive the whole year . I really hope that this year can pass by quickly . And hopefully , I can get to the course I really want to get in . I swear I'll work double this year . But , hopefully , I can also manage my time more and overcome all the problems I'm currently facing now .
Now , what I want to do is to cry out loud to myself , scream in open space and forget everything . I really don't want to lie . It's not good . :(
Everything is turning out bad . I really don't have the courage already to face every problem that is going to appear in my life . I 'm afraid I would just fall again on my face . It hutts . Really hurts . How , all I want to do is just to close my eyes and hope that everything would be fine . :)
