Wow , this is going to be a long post . Have been neglecting the blog . Really have no time :x

Sometimes I wonder if people even know what that means . When someone keep quiet , there are a couple of reasons . Feeling tired , Not in the mood , etc . There may be weird reasons . But , at times , when a girl keeps quiet , they may be crying loudly inside . I really hope people could understand .

Have been keeping quiet in class , these few months . Reasons : Tired , No mood , I don't like my sitting position . I really want to change my seat . Sitting at my current sitting position only make me have no mood to study or listen in class . Haish , feeling the stress day by day . My parents want me to get into Triple Science . I really hope , I won't disappoint them . However ,I don't even think I'm putting in the right amount of effort . :/ I really want to study , just don't have the mood to study .

I really want to say about this matter . I don't know how long more I can tolerate . But , I want to tell you that , you are really crossing the limits . You're doing last minute work . I hate that . I really want to help you . But I don't think I'm really helping you . Because , you even show it in your daily work . And fyi , I really hate people attitude-ing me . Ignoring me when I repeat myself repeatedly is also part of it alright . I comfort you when you're down , but I don't even think you ever thought about how I feel .

Do you really think that I like to be alone . Please , NO . Being alone will just make me think about what happened last year . Keeping quiet doesn't mean I don't care what you did . I remembered every little thing you did . I just really don't want to voice out and destroy this friendship . But I really hope you did apprieciate our friendship . I really hate people who use me . Thanks , I really hope you'll change for the better .

I realized , I've changed . I don't think is for the better . I asked my priamry school friend , Clara , she said I really changed . When I heard that , my heart sank . I really don't want to change. I want to remain the same . I can't take it when someone say I changed and I feel that it's not for the better . I really hope that I don't change much more . Because I love the way I were in primary school . Even if I know a lot of people hate me . I don't care . I only wanted my friends who cared for me to be right beside me when I need them .

After I went to secondary school , my P6 class only met once . Thinking about it , I really regret about everything we did in the past . we should not have quarreled . But , I know we cannot turm time back . But , if I had the chance , I really want to go back to then . I really miss all my classmates and those days when we went crazy as a class , got scolded as a class and everything . Thanks , thanks for the memories <3 .

I think I should stop here before I start crying .

I looked back at the past and regretted many things .